Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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