Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
