is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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