he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
