I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
