Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
