Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
