i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
