I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
