he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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