He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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