Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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