i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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