plz talk dirty to me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
