if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
