one might say we're banned from that church
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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