Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize