Define "chronic" masturbator.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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