I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
