He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
