Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
