even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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