can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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