i wish my penis had a tongue
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
