It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm having to shit out rocks
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