he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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