You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
