i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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