Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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