Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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