you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
