Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
