i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
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I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
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I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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