so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
