She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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