this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
