Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
