My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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