Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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