At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
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the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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