We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Can i not drive my cunt home
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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