but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize