I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
They are going to name an STD after you.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
