The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
