Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
