No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
