...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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