respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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