no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
