Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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