my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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