The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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