12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
