That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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