She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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