Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think I died a long time ago.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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