it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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