I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
