if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
