I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
operation have a gay friend backfired
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
