I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...