Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
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Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it