My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
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i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
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I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell