i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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